the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
