We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
