i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm bleeding and have questions
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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