shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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