Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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