just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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