Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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