physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The adults are the big ones right?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize