If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
