so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
