But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
