i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
