We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
