people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
