...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
