So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
