You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
