thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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