apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
