He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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