I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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