Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
