I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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