I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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