The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
