I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
