spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
