he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize