cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
