areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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