I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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