we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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