Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
