She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
