I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
