My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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