After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
