dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
