I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize