how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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