all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
