I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
