he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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