If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize