Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
