I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
