I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
