Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
