I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
