what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
