your parents love me but you hate me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
