Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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