carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
