Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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