i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
