seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize