I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize