I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
