Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
