I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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