So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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